You know You're In Guard If

You can catch anything thrown at you.
You know how to wrap your own bandages.
You have a flag callus on your right palm under your small finger.
You have permanent rifle bruises.
You can smiles genuinely on command.
You have an excuse for everything.
You know that "one more time" never means one more time.
You have more inside jokes than any of your other friends.
You catch yourself spinning your pencil in Algebra class.
Everyone knows that you are in guard by the t-shirts you wear.
You show up for everything at least 15 minutes early.
You know the perfect spot for a toss in your favorite songs.
When you wake up in the morning and put your dot book on without thinking.
Vending machine food becomes gourmet.
When you in your teacher yells, "Attention" and you look forward and sit up straight and don't make eye contact with anyone.
Finals are a positive thing.
All your teachers and classmates have seen your guard videos at least twice.
Not only do you have names for your equipment but you know the names of the other members flags to.
When you choose a college based on the colorguard and winterguard directors and programs
You have had the words "left! Right! Left! Right!" repeatedly screamed at you and you are not in the army.
You can change into your uniform anywhere.
When you have seen the same WGI or DCI tape a thousand times and still enjoy it.
When the "can i have 5 extra mins" turns into a midnight practice
Every song becomes a possible flag routine.
When you have more gay friends then straight.
Life? What's that?
Your priorities are slightly askew.
When getting dressed up to go to school means wearing what you'll have wear to practice that night.
Your Boyfriend has a copy of your schedule hanging in his room.
You find many new uses for a sabre
If you think you will die when the season is over.
When you have prayed all season for a break before the next season, be it colorguard or Winterguard, then you spend the whole thing crying, cause your muscles aren't used to resting for that long.
Your boyfriend owns more Color Guard shirts then the store that sells them.
When you make a website dedicated to guard.
When the only jacket you own has the name of your guard on it.
You know how to sleep with the your music on 10 and the bus going 60mph.
You take over guys bathrooms b/c the girls is too full.
Changing in front of guys doesn't faze you anymore.
You have see more skin from the same sex then the opposite.
When you work at a bingo hall.
When you miss some one you saw 5 minutes ago.
You see the same people all day everyday.
When stretches are your favorite part of the day.
You walk on step to all music you hear.
When you have a roll of electical tape next to your bed
You spin pencils/pens/mops/brooms/pool cues, etc.
When your senior ring lives on your necklace.
When you look forward to getting new gloves.
You have a drawer full of flag t-shirts.
You're constantly involved in fundraisers.
When school nachos actually taste good
The term attitude has lost all meaning.
When you break a bone and still insist that you can march (even if on crutches).
You've seen 3:30 in the morning many times.
Separate checks in a restaurant are the best thing to ever happen to you.
You can do your hair and make-up anywhere.
Someone who can throw a piece of wood 40ft in the air and catch it becomes your hero.
When you try and guess the height of a person by the size of the pole they’re spinning.
You find yourself designing flags/uniforms/drill in your classes.
You can change, go to the bathroom, and go to your locker in 4.5 min.
You laugh like everyone else on your guard.
You use two hands to tell your left from your right.
You count all music to beats of 8 or 16.
When you look for flags in commercials and movies that show bands.
Being friends w/ anyone outside of the band just seems unnormal.
When your little sister plays with, touches, or even LOOKS at your weapon, you jump on her like a lion on a mouse.
When you meet your friends places you are always half an hour early
When your instructor says rehearsal is at six, you are there by five thirty or you are LATE.
Your best friend becomes a six foot pole four foot silk.
Watching a 1/2 show has become more then a leisure activity.
When you always step off on the left foot
Leaving your seat at 1/2 time would be considered a sin.
Lycra-spandex has become a permanent part of your closet.
You have never taken a dance class but you know more terms than in the foreign language you took.
The soles of your practice shoes have holes in them from doing to many turns.
You've left your house wearing things you swore you never would, like spandex.
Getting a sip of water is considered an act of love and kindness.
You will not consider anything over $5 dinner while at a competition.
You become your own pharmacist.
Anyone who carries fem. products becomes your best friend.
You wish they offered naptime in school.
You can mock all other bands/guards quite well.
You've considered dating a band/percussion member or have dated one.
Asking your parents for money has reached the extreme.
Having your show finished the day before your first competiton/performance is considered lucky.
You know nothing is ever definite.
You have electrical tape in your backpack, your car and your locker.
There's no such thing as a "summer vacation".
The smell of sunscreen makes you think of band camp.
You know how to bend any rule.
You've never actually watched a football game.
You're the last people to hear about the pep rally and the first to perform at them.
When you forget how to count above 16.
No matter how well you do your school still has no clue what the guard is or even that it exists.
You've used up all the white out covering up the marks on the ceiling/wall from the rifle you WEREN'T spinning in the house...and need more.
Whenever something breaks, you fix it with electrical tape.
When you get teary eyed when you have to put your saber down so you can eat dinner.
No matter how good your guard is you still get the smallest coverage in the yearbook.
You know that if you try something hard in front of an instructor it might just end up in your show.
You know never to give instructors new ideas…
You cheer louder than the cheerleaders at football games.
The term democracy is not in your vocabulary.
You learn to love your instructor when you see other guards’ shows and uniforms.
You went to every school football game but never paid for one.
When you can drop spin and carry on a conversation, and jazz step all at the same time, with out even thinking about it.
Your nails have never extended beyond your fingertips.
You know what's significant about June 14th.
When the only age that matters is 22
Every time you find a bruise/scrape on yourself, you automatically know you got it at a guard rehearsal.
You march to the back ground music in the mall.
You walk in step with your guard friends.
You have hit yourself in the head with a flag/rifle/sabre more times than you would like to
think about or can think about!
When you are together so much (because of practice or just getting together) that you all get your period at the same time!
You can talk about practically anything at practice and competitions no matter who's around.
You point your toes in your sleep.
Your friends notice bruises on you and you didn't even know that they were there!
When you are doing a parallel toss and you know right away that its not high enought and it hits you in the face
When being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
When you are rivles with all the chearleaders
The only nail polish you wear in the winter is clear or none at all
The funny smell in the guard room in no longer noticeable to you